About
my name is emily. i've gone by emilie, emmalee, and ivy in the past, but i'm just emily now. i've learned to accept my name and myself for who i am. if you can't, then go away. i don't need you. i'm eighteen going on nineteen in december. i'm in college and still don't know what i'm doing. this is my blog. <3 nothing too interesting.Following
i’ve been in a really good mood lately. like, nothing can bring me down no matter what it is. maybe it’s because in the past month i’ve dumped a lot of people who just bring me down and make me feel like shit. i’d like to think that’s why. <3 tonight i’m going over to lauren’s house. my god, i’ve missed her. we used to be attached at the hip and for almost two years we didn’t talk. now we’re back talking and everything’s great. we’re gonna make a walmart run probably just to take pictures and get snacks, then go across to starbucks for something to drink, and then back to her house to watch movies. :D i’m meeting her sister for the first time hahaha. and i get to see her mother, who used to be like a second mother to me. i’m just like…so excited that i get my best friend back. she’s changed so much and i’m extremely proud of who she’s become over the past year or so. we’ll see how it goes. hopefully it’s like where we dropped off at and not all awkward.
oh. and i think i’m crushing on this guy i met not too long ago. oh lordy. i hope not because he said he didn’t want anything serious. screw boys. <3 i’ll just be single. TURN INTO A NUN. :) or a cat lady. bahahaha. not.
i’ve decided to delete all my tumblr posts, aside from the two songs i put up a while back. i’m erasing all memories with you. i’m letting you go and, to be honest, i’ve never been so sure of this. i have better friends. call me a ‘follower’ all you want, i make my own decisions, i don’t need someone else to make them for me. i have a brain and i use it. in other news, i finally told my best friend, stephanie, about roleplaying and i have to say, it feels good. i no longer feel the need to hide my roleplaying friends from her or telling her i met them through myspace. i’ve been roleplaying since i was probably fourteen and never told anyone i knew in real life. it’s about time, right? i love you, steph. <3 even when one of us goes away from college and leaves this town, i’m going to always be there for you. that’s what best friends are for, right?
i found myself thinking yesterday while doing dishes. i really want to move out. not because i hate my parents or hate it here. hell, they’ve been supportive. i’m almost nineteen and they still pay my car insurance! of course, i feel bad for it. i’ve tried numerous times to get a job, but no one will call to interview. i hate the economy right now, but back on subject. i don’t want to move out because i hate it here. my biggest reason for wanting to move out is i just want a place i can call my own. i feel like i’d like cleaning it more if it was my own, you know? i want to go shopping for decorations to put up, i want to be able to decorate the bathroom (we only have one, so i can’t really make it my own). i want to buy nice furniture to go in the living room. i want a cute dining table for the dining room. i want matching silverware, actual glasses (not the plastic kind), and actual PLATES (not paper ones). i want my own food in the refrigerator. food i paid for myself. food i have to cook myself. i want a room like you see in the catalogs when purchasing bedding. i just want my own place. an apartment would do, i just need a place of my own. a place i can call MINE. but, OBVIOUSLY, i need a job first. xD
xoxo,
emily <3
i’ll sit here and think of you
of you and all the times you said you loved me
all those times you said you wanted nothing more
but baby, i guess i never really saw you
you lied to my face several time before
i brushed it off and pretended not to see
now here we are, three years later and you’re all i dream about
oh tell me, why couldn’t that girl be me?!
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CHORUS:
going to put the pieces back and hope they stay together
i’ll wish upon a star that you’ll come back
remember all the nights we had staying on the telephone
the nights you said you were all mine
what happened, oh what happened?
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i showed you something no one else had seen
i gave you my heart and you took that key
now tell me why’d you have to break those walls?
i should’ve known better than to fall
fall for you and you’re charming ways
i’ll leave you alone, but i just need to say
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CHORUS
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thanks to you my hearts on lock down
thanks to you i don’t trust anyone
and thanks to you i’ll learn to move on
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i’ll put the pieces back and you bet they’ll stay together
i won’t wish upon a star hoping you’ll come back
all those nights spent on the telephone, what a waste of time
i honestly don’t care that you’re not mine
i won’t ask my self what happened anymore
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i’m stronger, oh baby i’m stronger than that.
i’m stronger, oh baby i’m stronger than that.
so many empty spaces
so little time to breathe
interviews and premieres
my fairytale come true
you’re back at home,
sitting on that couch
so many missed calls
i know you want me back
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CHORUS
take me back to the place we used to live
oh take me back to the children we once were
you had your dreams and i had mine
take me back, take me back, oh take me back
———————
the kids at school don’t believe it
i’ve finally made it, like i said i would
you want so much to just hate it
and for me to come back to you
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CHORUS
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and here i am, standing at your door
hestitating to let you know i’m home
you take once glance out that window
and can’t believe that i’m finally here
———————
i came back to the place we used to live,
but we can’t go back to the children we once were
your dreams and mine both came true
i came back, i came back, oh i came back.
i came back, i came back, oh i came back.
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in all honesty, all i had was the chorus. i’ve been trying to write the rest of this for a while and it FINALLY just came to me. so, this is still a rough draft, seeing as how i wrote all of it JUST NOW. so yea. what do you think?